Today we are at the Hunsford parsonage to
discuss Pride and Prejudice with
several characters from Love at First
Slight. We are just waiting for Miss Collins and her houseguest to arrange
refreshments and for three young ladies to arrive from Rosings Park.
Before everyone assembles here in the parlour,
it behooves me to apologize in advance. These dramatis personae are, after all,
characters; and I cannot vouch for
their conduct. More than anyone, I know how unpredictable their behaviour can
be; and althou –
From the vicinity of the kitchen, voices are
heard loud and clear.
Miss
Collins: “That cannot
be an option. Even if such potation were befitting the occasion, my brother
does not condone the imbibition of fortified wine by the fair sex, as he calls
us. Good Christians should be filled with the Spirit, not spirits. We do not stock alcoholic beverages here.”
Mrs.
Bennet: “Then you will appreciate my anticipation
of such a deficiency. I brought my own bottle.”
Miss
Collins: “I would, under any other circumstance,
humbly bow to your superior proficiency as an accomplished mistress of an
estate. However, I question the appropriateness of serving unbaptized sherry at
a literary gathering such as this. Please keep in mind we will soon welcome
into our midst the esteemed nieces of Sir Lewis de Bourgh. What if he were to
hear of my disregard of his magnanimous recommendation of tea and seed cake for
my guests?”
Mrs.
Bennet: “A teapot and china cups, dearie. Sir Lewis
and his servile spies need never know what libation lies therein.”
Miss
Collins: “Such cunning, Cousin!”
Mrs.
Bennet: “I prefer to think of it as ingenuity.
Necessity is the mother of
invention.”
Miss
Collins: “Well, as the mother of our most excellent
current curate, you can do no wrong. Will this teapot hold the entire bottle?”
I cringe and make a mental note to look up
origin of the word ‘teetotaler‘.
Miss Collins and Mrs. Bennet enter the parlour
followed by a housemaid bearing a tray of savouries and a ginormous china tea
service. Their arrival coincides with a ring at the door. The servant scurries
off and returns to announce Lady Cassandra Fitzwilliam, Mrs. Jane Devonport,
and Miss Elizabeth Darcy. Introductions are made, and we settle onto our
straight-backed chairs and exchange required small talk while Mrs. Bennet pours
liquid refreshment and Miss Collins passes slices of caraway-flavoured cake.
Although quite familiar with these women, I am
nervous (probably because I am well
acquainted with them). “Thank you for
attending our little discussion group, ladies. I trust everyone has read Pride and Prejudice by now and … Yes,
Miss Collins?”
“My brother insisted upon his own perusal before
permitting my access to the novel. I am sorry to say Mr. Collins found the
material unsuitable.” She leans forward and speaks sotto voce. “One of the
unmarried female characters runs off with a soldier!”
Me: “So, you have read the
book?”
Olivia Collins bows her head. “I hid it behind Fordyce’s Sermons by day and read under
the covers by candlelight at night. I do not know how to explain the singed
sheets to my brother.”
Mrs.
Bennet: “Oh, I do relish a ribald romance! Has
anyone else read Pamela: Or, Virtue Rewarded? I am currently on my third rereading of The Monk but will set it aside if Pride
and Prejudice is in the same vein.”
Elizabeth Darcy takes a sip, makes a face, and
lowers her teacup. “Jane and I read The
Monk – as well as Henry Fielding’s The
History of Tom Jones, a Foundling – during seminary days.” At our shocked
expressions, she defends their choice of reading material. “To all one’s
impressive scholastic and societal accomplishments, one must add something more
substantial – the improvement of one’s mind by extensive, albeit forbidden,
reading.”
Mrs. Bennet reaches over and pats her on the
knee. “Quite right, Miss Darcy.” The two then engage in an exchange of views on
lowbrow versus highbrow literature.
Me: “Could we please stay on topic here?” I hold up the book supposedly
under discussion. “The novel’s first sentence is a perfect example of irony and
is one of the most famous opening lines ever. ‘It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession
of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.’”
Mrs. Bennet and Miss Darcy ignore me ... as does
Miss Collins, undoubtedly busy inventing stories about scorched linens.
“Good gracious,” says Mrs. Devonport, “that
opening sounds suspiciously like the start of our own story. It may not be universally acknowledged, but
the unvarnished truth is that a young widow in possession of a good fortune is
not necessarily in want of another husband. Handsomely provided for by an ample
jointure, said widow need not relinquish control of her recently gained
property, nor surrender her disenthrallment, unless, of course, she could find
true love, or a close facsimile, a second time around.”
Me: “I hope Jane Austen would agree imitation is the sincerest form of
flattery.”
“Who is Jane Austen?” asks Jane Devonport.
Me: “She wrote the book we’re discussing.”
“But my copy says it’s by the author of Sense and Sensibility,” says Lady
Cassandra.
Me: “Miss Austen also wrote that novel.”
“But,” says Lady Cassandra, “Sense and Sensibility was written ‘by a
Lady’.”
Me: “Jane Austen was that lady.”
Miss Collins chimes in, “I recently glanced
through a book by ‘A Lady of Distinction’. Had our storyteller here ...” (She gives
me the gimlet eye.) ‘… allowed me more time to study The Mirror of the Graces, I would not have made such a peabrain of
myself in Love at First Slight.”
Me: “Olivia! You should be thankful to have had such a meaty role.”
Mrs.
Bennet: “Oh, have we sausage rolls?” (Oh, good.
Mrs. Bennet has obviously been paying attention after all.)
I wish the present company would assuage my
desire for clever, well-informed conversation; so I make another attempt.
“Let’s skip to the conclusion. What is your opinion of the ending of Pride and Prejudice? Anyone?”
“Lizzy and I took turns reading the novel aloud
yesterday,” says Lady Cassandra. “While I was satisfied with the denouement, my
cousin scoffed at the fairy-tale ending. She thought it preposterous the wealthy
master of a grand estate – the grandson and nephew of an earl – would stoop to
marry someone so beneath his station.”
Me: “Oh, really?” Knowing her fate, I smirk at Miss Darcy.
Distracted by strident footsteps stopping in the
hallway, we look expectantly towards the door as it swings open. A handsome visage peeps into the room.
Mrs. Bennet flies from her seat and is warmly
greeted by her favourite son – the Reverend Mr. William Bennet – as he enters
the parlour.
We are momentarily spellbound by his towering,
strong physique – clad in a long, formfitting, double-breasted black cassock.
William addresses us in his rich, sonorous tone. “Good afternoon, ladies. What
a pleasant surprise to find you here. Am I interrupting something?”
“Oh, not at all, Cousin William!” Miss Collins
pats the chair beside her. “Please join us.”
William glances at Olivia, then Elizabeth, and
then – more favourably – at Lady Cassandra and settles beside the latter. Mrs.
Bennet hands him a slice of cake and a teacup. “Our book club is discussing a
novel called Pride and Prejudice.”
His mouth and eyebrow quirk. “Arrogance and discrimination, eh?” He looks
quickly at Elizabeth. “Is the author present, perchance?”
I inwardly groan but take perverse delight in
knowing William Bennet will be made to suffer in LaFS.
Without looking, he takes a gulp from his cup
and splutters, “What the dickens?
Mother! Is this your doing?” He shakes his head but grins at her.
Upon witnessing the dimples bracketing William’s
smile, Elizabeth sighs. I alone know she
is fighting attraction to the handsome cleric and trying not to raise
expectations on his part.
Slightly tipsy, I giggle into my second cup of
sherry, snort fortified wine up my nose (never a pleasant experience), and
immediately decide upon a future title for discussion by the LaFS Book Club. Please join us next time
for Grape Expectations.
__________________________________________________________
Or, you could start a discussion right now.
Have you ever read by flashlight under the
covers or participated in a book club discussion? If so, was the book a ribald
romance Mrs. Bennet would enjoy or one of a more serious stamp favoured by Miss
Collins?
What is your opinion of these LaFS characters? Will you read their
story?
J. Marie Croft
Giveaway
Meryton Press is offering two giveaways – one trade
paperback for a randomly-drawn winner and an e-Book for another. To enter, take your chances in the rafflecopter forms below this post. Winners will receive their copies after Love
at First Slight
is released in November.
About the author
J. Marie Croft lives in Nova Scotia and divides her time
among working at a music lesson centre, geocaching (a high-tech treasure hunt)
with her husband, and writing. Her stories are lighthearted; and her tag line
is Jane Austen’s quote, “Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery.” A member of
the Jane Austen Society of North America (Canada), she admits to being
excessively attentive to the 1995 BBC version of Pride
and Prejudice.
Adult twin daughters are the light of her life even though they don’t
appreciate Mr. Darcy the way ‘Momzie” does.
In this humorous, topsy-turvy Pride & Prejudice variation, the gender roles are
reversed. It is Mr. Bennet’s greatest wish to see his five sons
advantageously married.
When the haughty Miss Elizabeth Darcy comes to
Netherfield with the Widow Devonport (nee Bingley), speculation—and
prejudice—runs rampant.
William Bennet, a reluctant and irreverent
reverend, catches Miss Darcy’s eye, even though he is beneath her
station. His opinion of her is fixed when she slights him at the Meryton
Assembly.
As her ardour grows, so does his
disdain; and when she fully expects to receive an offer of
marriage, he gives her something else entirely ….
19 comments:
I have never read by flashlight - as a child this would not have been allowed, and I have never got into the habit of reading in bed
I have never participated in a book club discussion - lots of books were discussed at school of course. Of various kinds - Austen, Shakespeare and poetry. If I can get hold of a copy I will certainly be reading these LaFS characters
Interesting point ;)
I look forward to read this book.
Thank you for opportunity!!
I have read under the covers with a flashlight and it was when the Harry Potter books were being released
Vesper Meikle,
Did you enjoy reading and discussing Austen and Shakespeare at school? I only learned to love their work later in life.
Thanks for commenting.
Warmisunqu Austen,
Thank you for leaving a comment.
Happy reading!
Patricia Finnegan,
I imagine lots of readers stayed up late with Harry Potter.
Thanks for reading my post and commenting.
i have read books by the light of my cellphone!!!! i know, too dorky!!!!
& yes, these books would be enjoyed by all!!!
Hi cyn209,
Welcome to the dork side!
No, I have never read a physical book under the cover of darkness. If I want to, I just switch on the light. But if you're talking about an e-reader, then yes, I did read it. It's a romance novel which I think can be enjoyed by all.
Reading under the covers is usually done because one is not supposed to be staying up late (or not reading a particular book at all). Bed covers prevent light from showing under the door - in case a parent were to check.
as a child, I would sometimes read by flashlight.
last year during hurricane Sandy, I did it again!
adorable story
dstoutholcomb,
Thanks!
I've read by flashlight in the wake of a hurricane, too.
I have never read by flashlight, because it is not very good for my eyes, but after I had started living seperately from parents I've been staying up late very often reading some interesting page-turner. And recently it has been happening a lot while reading P&P sequels or variations:) LaFS characters, especially such peculiar as Miss Collins and Mrs.Bennet, are very intriguing. I wonder what changed and what remained the same after they underwent change in their gender:))) So I would gladly read their story.
Hi oloore,
The gender reversals in LaFS were fun to write but also a challenge.
Thanks for commenting.
I am so inspired by the review. I guess I wil be going for the bvooks.
Thanks
I so love the way the article is presented. I am planning to follow the blog.
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