LOOKING FOR MR DARCY

(by guest blogger Kelsey Clark) 

If you are a girl, as I assume most of you reading this are, then you know what I am talking about when I say we are looking for our Mr. Darcy. We are looking for that special someone who may not look the best from the outside but is secretly perfect for us on the inside.

Now, we need to be careful with this impulse to ‘Darcy-fy’ guys. Not all guys are like Mr. Darcy; a jerk at first glance but inside a gentleman. Some guys are just jerks through and through. A lot of women get this romantic view on guys. Like their coarse outer demeanor is really just cause by pain and loneliness and YOU will be the one to get through to them. This is how women get stuck with abusive and neglectful guys, even smart women.

Of course, I am sure there ARE guys like Mr. Darcy out there; ones that have trouble expressing their true selves. But there is a thin line between prejudice and wisdom. Prejudice keeps good people (like Elizabeth and Darcy) apart. Wisdom keeps good women from being sucked into relationships with bad men. Know the difference.

Another thing that I think I need to mention is the fact that, if you read Pride and Prejudice carefully, Mr. Darcy NEVER CHANGES. He doesn’t suddenly become sweet and soft and kind to everyone he meets. He still looks cold and distant. What changes is that Elizabeth and Elizabeth ONLY sees the softness inside. Why does this matter? Because you shouldn’t think that just because you find a guy and fall in love you will make him change. People don’t change, at least not that drastically. If they do change, it is because of inner choices, not any outer influence- like a helpful girlfriend. So, don’t get caught thinking your Mr. Darcy will change. He is who he is. If you don’t love him just as he is, then forget about it. Elizabeth learned to love Darcy for who he was, cold exterior and all. I am sure that, had we had a chance to watch their relationship progress further, Mr. Darcy was never much of a social butterfly. He didn’t magically become a better person. He was a good man with flaws, and that is what you must remember.

All men have flaws. You need to find out which ones you can live with and which ones you can’t. You have to love them for who they are, not who they could be or who you could help them to be. If they get better then great, but if not remember that life is not a fairy tale. Even Jane Austen knew that when she created the flawed and beautiful characters of her novels.

 Kelsey Clark

Guest blogger:

Kelsey  is the editor in chief for findananny. She loves to write articles and ideas that parents & nannies would be interested in hearing. She helps society on giving information about nannies through  nanny placement. She is a professional writer & loves writing on anything.